On this Memorial Day weekend, as we remember our soldiers who lost their lives while serving our country, I share with you the lyrics of the famous Israeli song, “How Can I Bless?” by Rachel Shapira.

“How can I bless him, what gift shall I give
 to this child” said the angel of love.

 He has joined the angels, that wonderful boy, 
he has no more blessings, no longer is blessed.
 Oh, Lord above, did your angel forget
 to bless him with life along with the rest?

May we all remember and honor the sacrifices made by our soldiers. May the families of fallen soldiers feel the love and support of our nation. May the memory of those who have lost their lives while serving our country forever serve as a blessing.  They gave their lives while protecting us, insuring that we have tremendous blessings.  For this, we must insure that they are forever blessed.

Shabbat Shalom and Chag Sameach (Shavuot begins Saturday night – join us at Ramat Shalom!),

]]> http://rabbiandrewjacobs.org/2012/05/25/blessing-our-fallen-soldiers-2/feed/ 0 blogshalom http://rabbiandrewjacobs.org/2012/05/11/real-live-jewish-superheroes/ http://rabbiandrewjacobs.org/2012/05/11/real-live-jewish-superheroes/#comments Fri, 11 May 2012 20:25:00 +0000 Rabbi Andrew Jacobs http://rabbiandrewjacobs.org/?p=763 ]]> a “re-blog” from 2010

“One can be full of education and have the highest ideals, but if one eats soup from the tip of a the spoon and not from the side or one spoons the soup up towards oneself and takes too much, or one leans on the table and reaches for the milk when it is too far away instead of asking someone sitting closer to pass it – then one commits…a ‘crime,’ and that’s all that seems to matter.”

These words were written in 1903 by Abraham Cahan, the editor of the popular, Lower East Side (of New York) Jewish Daily Forward.  While the words seem funny to us today, Cahan was serious.  He was capturing a concern among the newer members of the American Jewish community that they quickly adopt the behavior and social norms of their new surroundings.  This concern grew out of the desire of Jewish families to insure that America became their home and that their children would fit in and succeed in this land of opportunity.  At the forefront of this campaign to adapt to the American way of life were, obviously, Jewish mothers.  And we know that they were successful.

For a time, it seemed that Jewish mothers were almost too successful.  An early 20th century Jewish parenting book stated: “the function of the home must…be to transmit a civilization, to provide for the continuity of a cultural inheritance as well as an ethnological one.”  Judaism in the early 1900’s was being pushed to the sidelines by the new American lifestyle.  Assimilation was putting our rituals at risk.  Mathilde Shechter, an advocate for the role of the home in early 20th century Jewish identity, wrote: “Earnest rabbis and teachers are doing their best from the pulpit and platform to turn the tide [against assimilation], but they and the synagogues are helpless, unless the women of Israel create Jewish homes again.  [Women need to] rebuild our Jewish homes.”  And many did just this.

To this day, it is my experience that it is Jewish women – largely Jewish mothers – who have kept Judaism alive in America.  Certainly, in more traditional communities, prayer and study have connected men.  In the more liberal communities, however, it is often a struggle to get men involved and connected with Jewish life.  It is usually the women in these communities (like our own) that insure that their families remain connected.  For the most part, it is mothers who insure that their home is a Jewish home and that their children attend a Jewish preschool, make it on time to Torah School, prepare for their bar mitzvah, and remain connected to Jewish life as a teenager.  And many of these mothers do this while maintaining careers that women in the early 1900’s could not have comprehended.  They are real, live, Jewish superheroes!

To all of our mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers – thank you for doing your part to keep Judaism alive and well in the 21st century.  Enjoy Mother’s Day.  May it be special.

]]> http://rabbiandrewjacobs.org/2012/05/11/real-live-jewish-superheroes/feed/ 1 blogshalom http://rabbiandrewjacobs.org/2012/04/28/spiritual-exile-it-happens-so-what-do-we-do/ http://rabbiandrewjacobs.org/2012/04/28/spiritual-exile-it-happens-so-what-do-we-do/#comments Sun, 29 Apr 2012 03:03:22 +0000 Rabbi Andrew Jacobs http://rabbiandrewjacobs.org/?p=760 ]]> My D’var Torah from Friday night…

We talked a few weeks ago about the additional day of Pesah – the 8^th day, which is not biblically ordained – as being an extra day observed only by those Jews who live outside of the land of Israel to insure that they were observing the holiday on the correct day.  This is just one reminder that those of us who live outside of the land of Israel live differently than those who make Israel their home.  Those of us who live outside of the land of Israel, we are referred to as living in the Diaspora – or, more strongly, in Galut, in EXILE!

Tonight, I ask all us, do we feel like we are living in EXILE?

For many of us, those of us who love Israel and have a longing in our hearts to be there, this is a time period in the Jewish calendar when that Zionist itch gets strong.  While we can observe Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Memorial Day (which we did last week), anywhere, how much more powerful it is to commemorate this horrible time period in Israel – in a nation that rose from the ashes of the destruction in Europe?  While we can all pause to remember the Israeli soldiers who lost their lives, as we did on Wednesday (Yom HaZikaron), for the protection of the Jewish State, how much more powerful it is to remember them in Israel, as the air raid sirens howl and everyone, wherever you are, stops, stands and remembers in silence.  And, while we can all celebrate the 64^th birthday of Israel – which took place on Thursday (Yom Ha’Atzmaut) – celebrating Israel’s birthday in America is a bit like celebrating your great-grandfather’s 100^th birthday by phoning in your love your good wishes.  Being there does make a difference.  Given this, at this time of year and at other times, some of us definitely feel disconnected from the land of Israel.  But do we feel as if we are living in Exile?

For some, we have never been to Israel.  We don’t get the connection some of us have to this far off land that we read about in Torah and in the newspaper.  Maybe we do, but we just haven’t had the opportunity to experience it ourselves so we don’t feel the connection.  If this describes you, does this mean that you are living in Exile?

As some of you know, we are in a funny time period on the Jewish calendar, a period known as Sefirat Ha’Omer – the counting of the Omer.  The Omer, or “sheaf” was a harvest offering brought to the Temple on the second day of Pesah.  After this offering was brought, the Torah instructs us to count 7 weeks, or 49 days, which brings us to the holiday of Shavuot.  Today, we consider Shavuot the holiday that commemorates the receiving of the 10 Commandments.  But, in biblical times, it too was an agricultural holiday, marking the time when Jews brought the first fruits of their harvest to the Temple as offerings.

Interestingly enough, we still count each day of the Omer.  Tonight marks the 21^st day of the Omer – you can see the numbers on any Jewish calendar.  Why would we still count these days?  We no longer bring harvest offerings and first-fruit offerings.  We know when Shavuot is – we don’t need to count the days.  Why didn’t this custom disappear?  Because the rabbis decided that counting of days between Pesah and Shavuot has a deeper meaning.  On Pesah – we celebrate our freedom, followed by our wandering in the desert – in no-mans land.  After the 49 days of counting, we arrive at Shavuot and receive the 10 Commandments.  No longer are we a wandering aimlessly in the desert.  We have rules and directions.  We are a true people, discovering our purpose.

The rabbis teach us that every year, despite the fact that we are no longer wandering in the desert literally, most of us are lost and misdirected spiritually.  On Pesah we all discover a new sense of freedom inside of us.  But, with this freedom comes the realization that we are not using this freedom to the best of our ability.  Some of us don’t know what to do with the freedom.  Some of us don’t appreciate it.  Some of us abuse it.  Some of us are just downright lost.  So, during the counting of the Omer, we are to engage in soul-searching, similar to what we do during the High Holidays, figuring out how we can find our way out of our own personal desert.  Hopefully, through prayer, meditation, rituals, study and intimate discussions, we can find our way out and experience the same type of liberation and redemption that our ancestors felt when they received the gift of the 10 Commandments.  This takes work.  And we must be willing to put in the work.  Spiritual searching is not easy.

As a Jew who loves Israel, a true Zionist, someone who fantasizes about living in Israel and loves to spend time there, I admit that, while there are times when I yearn to be there, I do not feel that I am living in EXILE.  Israel is indeed a significant piece of my spiritual home.  But this is home too.  I am not banished from Israel.  I might not be able to afford to fly there as often as I want to – but, by being here, I am certainly not a prisoner in a foreign land.  Israel is always there, waiting for my return.

For those who don’t feel the connection to Israel – you too are not living in EXILE.  None of us are relegated to an inferior land.  Certainly, Israel is an incredible place for Jews!  But, America isn’t a bad place for us either!

All of this being said, I do believe we can live in EXILE today.  Not exiled from Israel.  But exiled from a place of spiritual well-being and health.  Exiled not because we are banished by someone else, but exiled because we have not done enough to find the way out of the darkness.

Tonight is the 21^st night of the Omer.  We have 28 more days to count.  28 more days to use the freedom we all received when the Red Sea parted centuries ago to look for our own 10 Commandments – our own spiritual direction.  Until we give ourselves the time to discover what our soul needs/wants/desires/craves/yearns for and until we determine the steps needs to fulfill our soul’s needs/wants/desires/craving/yearnings – we are spiritually lost – banished by ourselves to a spiritual wasteland.  This is EXILE.

No one deserves to be EXILED.  So how do we prevent it from happening to us?  Use the next 28 days of the Omer.  Ask yourself the deep questions – what do you need to bring more pure joy and happiness into your life?  What do you need to bring more peace into your routine?  What do you need to feel better about yourself? What do you need to discover about yourself?  What do you realistically need from G-d?  28 days.  Try to answer the questions.  28 days.  Lay out the steps needed to make your answers a reality.  You do these things, and Shavuot, which falls on May 27, will truly be a blessing for you and those who love you.

]]> http://rabbiandrewjacobs.org/2012/04/28/spiritual-exile-it-happens-so-what-do-we-do/feed/ 0 blogshalom http://rabbiandrewjacobs.org/2012/04/27/a-massage-for-the-soul/ http://rabbiandrewjacobs.org/2012/04/27/a-massage-for-the-soul/#comments Fri, 27 Apr 2012 12:45:01 +0000 Rabbi Andrew Jacobs http://rabbiandrewjacobs.org/?p=758 ]]> This week’s Torah portion is pretty gross.  It talks a great deal about skin lesions and fluids that come out of the body.  These lesions and fluids, the Torah suggests, were a sign that a person was spiritually out of sorts.  Various spiritual remedies were used to heal the spirit – or soul – of one suffering from lesions or bodily discharge.  These remedies ultimately led to the spiritual renewal of a person – a rebirth of sorts.  One of these remedies is still practiced to this day: mikveh.  

One of the most powerful times to visit the mikveh is around the High Holidays, when we yearn for spiritual growth and a fresh start.  So, this September, in between Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, I will be leading a Mikveh Workshop at the beach.  We will talk about the history and meaning of mikveh and, anyone who choses, will have the opportunity to immerse themselves in G-d’s mikveh – the living waters of the Atlantic Ocean.  You will have the opportunity to experience the power of this ancient ritual firsthand!  Of course, if you want a head start and want to visit the mikveh now, before Shabbat, let me know !

Tonight is a very weird night on the Jewish calendar.

In Israel, Pesah is over.  As commanded in the Torah, for 7 days, we shall observe the rules and laws of Pesah.  For seven days we shall eat matzah.

Why 7 days?

Seven days commemorates that time between the 10^th plague and the resulting Exodus from Egypt which occurred on the 15^th day of Nisan and the splitting of the Red Sea – which happened 7 days later on the 21^st of Nisan.  Pesah started last Friday night – on the 15^th of Nisan.  Today was the 21^st of Nisan.  So tonight, as the sunsets and the 22^nd of Nisan begins, pizza is fair game in Israel.

Spiritually speaking, Pesah is the holiday during which we celebrate our very birth – or rebirth as a people, as a nation.  In Genesis, we read about individuals, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel and Leah.  In Exodus, while Moses is prominent, we are reading about a nation – a massive group of people leaving Egypt and beginning a civilization.  Pesah (the Exodus from Egypt) marks a complete change and turn-around – from a group of individuals to a group of slaves to a nation.  Given this, it only makes sense to take an entire week, a full cycle (7 days of creation) to be inspired and changed by this holiday.  Thus, we celebrate Passover for an entire week.  Seven days.

Now, for Orthodox and Conservative Jews (and many others) living outside of Israel, tonight, however, is still Pesah.  In these communities, Pesah is observed for 8 days.  This is not mentioned in the Torah at all.

Why do they observe for an extra day!?

Jewish holidays are based on the cycle of the moon. Passover begins on the 15^th of Nisan.  A Jewish month begins with a new moon.  Once a new moon was declared, folks counted 15 days and Pesah would be celebrated.

During Temple times (at least 2,000 years ago), witnesses would come to the Temple in Jerusalem and testify that they had seen the new moon (a sliver) the previous night. After careful interrogation of the witnesses, the new month (Rosh Chodesh) would be declared. Once this happened, torches would be lit (in cities like Tzefat) and messengers would be sent to the surrounding areas informing the general populace that the new month had begun.

2,000 years ago, these messengers traveled several days to make this announcement. Jews living outside the messengers’ reach would keep an extra day due to the doubt as to which day was actually a holiday.  If you calculated the new moon on the wrong day, you would celebrate Pesah on the wrong day.  So the extra day of Pesah – the 8^th day – was a precaution designed to insure that people didn’t eat matzah too early.

The second seder, also, is a precaution.  In Israel, there is not second seder.  It too was created to insure that you had your seder on the correct night.  What if the messengers were late!?

Now, in communities like Ramat Shalom – communities outside of Israel which adhere to modern Jewish theology, theology embraced by the Reform and Reconstructionist movements, the 8^th day of Pesah is not adhered to.

Why?  Because we believe that modern technology has eliminated the need to worry that we will not be observing Pesah at the correct time.  We don’t have to wait for messengers to tell us when the new month begins.  Not only can we see the new moon in the sky, but we are in direct contact with Israel and the religious officials who establish the Jewish calendar.  We know when Pesah is.  There is never any question.  And so, some of us broke Pesah tonight, with a Ramat Shalom pizza dinner.

This being said, there are members of our community who adhere to the 8 days of Pesah.  Why?  Because this is how they were raised.  In the same way, many of us who break Pesah a day earlier – on the biblically ordained 7^th day – still celebrate a 2^nd seder because the 2^nd seder is part of our custom – it is what we do.

So, tonight, for many Jews, Pesah is over.  At the same time, for many Jews, it is still Pesah…..We are in a period of limbo – leaven or unleavened?  Passover or just Shabbat?  For some, they have not yet crossed the Red Sea and entered freedom…for some, we have made it to the other side…..

So what do we do with this?

Some condemn Jews like us, who make the choice to follow the Israeli calendar –which to me makes so much sense.  We are accused of being lazy – of just wanting to toss the matzah a day earlier!  And, there is a point to this – but, following this argument, Israeli Jews are no lazier than we are.  For me, it is not about being lazy – but rather, connecting myself to Israel and the practice of our ancestors – the people who created Passover and in whose memory I adhere to the rituals and traditions.

But, ultimately, I don’t see when one breaks Pesah as something to argue about….There were a multitude of people who had to cross the Red Sea when it split.  Certainly, they all didn’t make it to the other side at the same time.  Those who made it over earlier – they waited for the last ones to cross.  Those of us who ended Pesah tonight, we have made a choice to cross early, yet in a manner that is embraced by our tradition.  Those who choose to eat matzah this Shabbat, they are waiting to cross.  And we, just like our ancestors who made it over first, will wait for those who practice 8 days.  Because whether we are in Israel or in Plantation, the Jewish people are not truly free until everyone has put their matzah away and crossed to the other side.

http://web.me.com/andrewmjacobs/Rabbi_Andrew_Jacobs/Podcast/Entries/2012/3/16_When_Too_Much_IS_Too_Much.html

What is the meaning and relevance of the kosher laws to us today?  Certainly, there are some of us who observe these laws.  We have found meaning and significance in them.  However, many of us do not observe any of these dietary rules.  They seem antiquated and prevent us from eating foods that we love, like some of the items on Joe’s menu.

I believe that the kosher laws are misunderstood by many Jews today – even those who observe them.  To me, the laws were designed to make us stop before we eat and ask ourselves: “What am I putting into my body?  Is it good for me?  Is it going to fuel my body and soul in a healthy way?”  During Torah times, it was determined, for various reasons, that animals that did not have split hooves (like camels) and/or did not chew their cud (like pigs) were considered unhealthy to eat.  It was also determined that shellfish was off limits.  These are just a few of the restrictions imposed by the kosher laws, restrictions that would evolve with the Jewish people over the centuries. Of course, most Jews who keep kosher traditionally still adhere to the biblical rules and refrain from eating non-kosher animals and fish – which makes it hard to dine well at Joe’s Stone Crab.

Today, there are various kosher standards – but, when it comes down to it, we must remember that kosher laws were created to insure that we think about what we are eating.  Based upon this, I would urge every single one of us to embrace the essence of keeping kosher.  In today’s society, we know that a lot of what we find on the grocery store shelves and at restaurants are processed foods that, over time, reek havoc on our bodies.  At its core, keeping kosher means treating our bodies as sacred vessels and doing everything in our power to fill our sacred vessel with good stuff and not garbage!  If you approach keeping kosher this way, I would imagine many more people would begin to appreciate the laws that we read about in this week’s Torah portion, even those among us who enjoy a good meal at Joe’s Stone Crab.

I wish you all a Shabbat Shalom – and a Shabbat of healthy eating!

I have been thinking a lot about my family’s tragedy this week as I read about Trayvon Martin and his death.  Despite what some are saying about Martin and the shooter, George Zimmerman, there are many questions yet to be answered about this case.  But one thing is clear: this death has become a racially charged tragedy.  Zimmerman has been labeled a criminal by many.  The New Black Panthers have offered a $10,000 reward for his capture.  Celebrities like Spike Lee and Rosanne Barr are tweeting the home address of Zimmerman’s parents to their followers.  Zimmerman, who is not in custody and has not been charged with anything, might be guilty of a crime.  But, he also might be innocent.  In this country, we believe that one is innocent until proven guilty.  A 17 year old is dead.  I understand that emotions are running high, understandably so.  But, this is no excuse to disregard American values and laws.

Unfortunately, national leaders are fanning the flames.  Reverend Al Sharpton has made it clear that Trayvon was killed by George Zimmerman because Trayvon was a “black kid”.  In response to Martin’s death, Reverend Jesse Jackson said that “blacks are under attack”.  Some elected officials have acted and spoken out in ways that lend support to Sharpton and Jackson’s assertion that race is the reason Trayvon was killed.  We don’t, however, know why Trayvon was killed.  Zimmerman might be a racist.  He might have been acting out of self-defense.  We don’t know.  There are too many unanswered questions.  An investigation needs to take place.  Rushing to judgment will get us nowhere.  Surely, Jackson and Sharpton know this.  They were very much involved in the 2006 Duke Lacrosse scandal – which, as many of you know, stirred racial tensions and resulted in charges being dropped against the falsely accused lacrosse players. Sharpton also knows the dangers of rushing to judgment after the Tawana Brawley controversy in the late 1980’s.

I know personally the emotions that surface when a loved one is killed.  In my family’s case, while the perpetrator was never captured, we know that he was black and that he murdered my great-aunt.  As my family learned about the horrific crime back in 1983, emotions raged.  The attacker was unknown – but, nonetheless, he was hated by my family.  There was an intense desire to find him and bring him to justice.  Yes, there were questions about whether or not he attacked my great-aunts because they were white and/or Jewish (this pre-dated the infamous Crown Heights riots in 1991).  But, there was no media coverage of this incident.  There were no press conferences.  There was no intensive investigation that followed the murder (perhaps if the attacker was caught, this would have been different).  The murder was considered a burglary gone bad.  As I reflect back on this nightmare, I realize that despite their anger and sorrow, I never once heard my great-aunt Phoebe, my grandfather or any other family member assert that white citizens of Crown Heights or Jewish citizens of Crown Heights were under attack.  My family’s loss never became “us vs. them”, “white vs. black”, “Jews vs. non-Jews”.  It could have.  But, my family understood that by asserting, without proof, that my great-aunt’s murder was a racial or an anti-semitic hate crime would have been racist in and of itself as the only “evidence” we had was the attackers skin color.  To blame something on skin color is racist.  Despite their emotions, my family managed to accept the fact that Anne’s murder was a horrific tragedy committed by a deranged individual who just so happened to be black.

I find it telling that as the media’s attention has been focused upon the Martin tragedy in Central Florida, most of us had no idea that on Wednesday, in Sarasota, Shawn Tyson, a black, 17 year-old, Floridian received a life sentence after a jury convicted him of first-degree murder in the shooting deaths of James Cooper, 25, and James Kouzaris, 24 – both white tourists from England.  I find it telling that while most of us know about Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman, we are unaware of the fact that 41 people were shot in Chicago earlier this month and 10 of them were killed!  One of the victims was 6 year old Aliyah Shell who was shot by gang members.  Her murder, the murder of other innocent souls in Chicago and the conviction of Shawn Tyson received very little media coverage.  There are no celebrities speaking out on behalf of little Aliyah Shell.  There are no rallies. Why?  No politicians spoke out on behalf of James Cooper and James Kouzaris and their parents are asking why?  The answer – the media focuses on sensationalism and gives the spotlight to those whose words startle and shock rather than teach and heal our very broken society.  This is so sad given that we live in such a broken world.

Let me be clear, I know that racism is alive and well.  I know that people are killed because of their skin color. This being said, at this point, it is completely irresponsible for anyone to declare that George Zimmerman is a racist who murdered Trayvon Martin because of his skin color.  And it is irresponsible for the media to put the spotlight on those making such declarations.  Let the investigation take place.  Allow the courts to pursue justice.  Give the jury time to deliberate.  And while we wait, perhaps the media can send their reporters and their cameras to places like Aliyah Shell’s neighborhood to determine why a 6 year old little girls was killed!

No matter what the outcome of the Trayvone Martin investigation may be, I pray that many in our nation come to realize, just like my great-aunt Phoebe and my grandfather did after the death of my great-aunt Anne, that despite the terrible racially motivated crimes that do take place, there are indeed many horrific crimes that are committed by deranged individuals whose skin color represents them alone and not an entire racial group.  If we can embrace this reality, perhaps we will do a better job at pursuing justice and bringing about the healing of our very broken world.

On Monday, the Jewish community was rocked to its core yet again.

Rabbi Yonaton Sandler, 30, a teacher at Ozar HaTorah Jewish School in Toulouse France was walking into school, along with his two young children, Gavriel, 3, and Aryeh, 6.  Along with them was Miriam Monsinego, 8, the daughter of the school’s principal.  Before they were all safely inside, they were gunned down by a radical Islamic terrorists with links to Al-Qaeda.

This act of hatred against our people hit very close to home for me.  I am the husband of a rabbi who works at a Jewish school and she brings our two children with her to work every day. (For my Orthodox friends reading this, you read that correctly, my wife is also a rabbi.)

Monday’s attack was a brutal reminder of a fact we in America just don’t want to accept: people still want to kill Jews – just because we are Jews.  We falsely believe that this is not true.  Monday pulled our heads out of the sand and stuck the reality before us.

As the bodies of Rabbi Yonatan, Gavriel, Aryeh and Miriam arrived in Israel for burial on Wednesday, the images of their funeral served to remind Jews everywhere of just how important Israel is to us all – a safe place, a true haven during horrific storms.

As I looked at the photos from the funeral, I was reminded of stories I had heard a few years back about French Jews purchasing property on the coast of Israel as their “just incase homes” – just incase things in France got so bad they had to flee to Israel.  As I read an interview of a Jew who calls Toulouse home and learned that he no longer feels safe in Toulouse, I wondered if he had a “just incase” home somewhere in Israel or if he had to continue living in a place where he felt threatened just because he is a Jew.

Monday was a terrible reminder for all of us Jews – no matter where we live – that the world can be a very unsafe place for us.

Upon learning about the murders of Rabbi Yonatan, his children and little Miriam, I felt outraged.  Outraged at the killer.  Outraged at the hatred and antisemitism that exists across the globe.  Outraged at the response of some global leaders to this tragedy.  As I watched the reaction of the African-American community to the senseless murder Trayvon Martin, I even found myself feeling outrage at the global Jewish community – wondering, where is our reaction!?  Where are our rallies and demonstrations!?

As I prepared for Shabbat, I was having a hard time letting go of the outrage – not an emotion I wanted to bring into Shabbat.  Fortunately, I was blessed to receive a powerful message in the form of a letter – a letter written by a mother, not just any mother, Chava Sandler – the mother of Gavriel and Aryeh, the wife of Rabbi Yonatan.  Chava had the courage and the strength to write to her community, the Jewish community and speak to us all via Chabad’s website.  Her words allowed me to move past my outrage:

My heart is broken. I am unable to speak. There are no ways for me to be able to express the great and all-consuming pain resulting from the murder of my dear husband Rabbi Jonathanand our sons, Aryeh and Gavriel, and of Miriam Monsonego, daughter of the dedicated principal of Ozar Hatorah and his wife, Rabbi Yaakov and Mrs. Monsonego.

May no one ever have to endure such pain and suffering.

Because so many of you, my cherished brothers and sisters in France and around the world, are asking what you can do on my behalf, on behalf of my daughter Liora and on behalf of the souls of my dear husband and children, I feel that, difficult though it may be, it is incumbent upon me to answer your entreaties.

My husband’s life was dedicated to teaching Torah. We moved back to the country of his birth to help young people learn about the beauty of Torah. He was truly a good man, loving, giving, and selfless. He was sensitive to all of G-d’s creatures, always searching for ways to reveal the goodness in others.

He and I raised Aryeh and Gavriel to live the ways of Torah. Who would have known how short would be their time on this Earth, how short would be the time I would be with them as their mother?

I don’t know how I and my husband’s parents and sister will find the consolation and strength to carry on, but I know that the ways of G-d are good, and He will reveal the path and give us the strength to continue. I know that their holy souls will remain with us forever, and I know that very soon the time will come when we will be together again with the coming of Moshiach (the Jewish Messiah).

I wholeheartedly believe in the words of the verse: “The L-ord has given, and the L-ord has taken away; blessed be the Name of the L-ord.” I thank the Almighty for the privilege, short though it was, of raising my children together with my husband. Now the Almighty wants them back with Him.

To all those who wish to bring consolation to our family and contentment to the souls of the departed: Let’s continue their lives on this Earth.

Parents, please kiss your children. Tell them how much you love them, and how dear it is to your heart that they be living examples of our Torah, imbued with the fear of Heaven and with love of their fellow man.

Please increase your study of Torah, whether on your own or with your family and friends. Help others who may find study difficult to achieve alone.

Please bring more light into the world by kindling the Sabbath candles this and every Friday night. (Please do so a bit earlier than the published times as a way to add holiness to our world.)

The holiday of Passover is approaching. Please invite another person into your homes so that all have a place at a Seder to celebrate the holiday of our freedom.

Along with our tearful remembrance of our trials in Egypt so many years ago, we still tell over how “in each and every generation, they have stood against us to destroy us.” We all will announce in a loud and clear voice: “G-d saves us from their hands.”

The spirit of the Jewish people can never be extinguished; its connection with Torah and its commandments can never be destroyed.

May it be G-d’s will that from this moment on, we will all only know happiness.

I send my heartfelt condolences to the Monsonego family for the loss of their daughter Miriam, and I pray for the speedy recovery of Aharon ben Leah, who was injured in the attack.

Thank you for your support and love.

For some of us living outside of the Orthodox world, Chava’s words are difficult to relate to at first.  But, when you stop to reflect upon her words, you realize that they do indeed speak to us all.

Chava reminds us that we are one community: French, Floridian, Orthodox, Liberal – we are brothers and sisters – Jews.  The murder of her family was an attack against us all.  But, outrage is not going to move us forward.  Yes, it is a logical feeling at this time.  But it is not productive.

What is?  Remembering that the Jewish spirit can never be extinguished if we do everything possible to make certain that this spirit survives.

And how do we do this?  By living Jewish lives.  By being proud of our heritage and tradition and making them our own.  In Chava’s Orthodox community, this is done by lighting candles, observing Shabbat, studying Torah.  In our progressive Jewish world, many of us do the same things and do them proudly.  But these are not the only ways to proudly embrace Judaism.  Coming to services, learning more about our faith, raising Jewish kids, giving tzedakah, volunteering, traveling to Israel, performing tikun olam – these are just a few ways to live Jewishly.  No matter how we decide to embrace our Judaism, Monday’s murders demand that each of us finds our Jewish path and embraces that path with pride.  Monday cried out to us all to do what we can to live as proud Jews.  Chava Sandler is asking us, in memory of her family, to do the same thing.  As I read her request on Friday afternoon, her words helped me to transform my outrage into pride.  What an incredible blessing….

In each generation, Chava reminds us, they have stood against us to destroy us – and we have survived.  As we remember these Jewish lives that have been taken from us – we need to insure that our Jewish lives are as bright and strong as possible and that our Jewish light – our spark of G-d that the Kabbalists teach us dwells within us all – burns so brightly that it is visible – like a Chanukah menorah placed by a window – to all, that it touches and inspires everyone.  If we can share our light like this, we will be living our lives as proud Jews.  And, when we do this, we will send a clear message to the world that we Jews are alive and strong and well – despite the obstacles we have had to face and continue to struggle with.  Nothing can stop us.

By living proud, Jewish lives, we will honor the memory of our brothers and sisters who were murdered on Monday and teach the world that despite their senseless deaths, Am Yisrael Chai – the Jewish people lives.

Thank you Chava for your courage, your words and your wisdom during the darkest moments of your life.  May the memory of your dear husband, your little boys and their friend Miriam only serve as a blessing.

Taken from Does God Have a Big Toe by Rabbi Marc Gellman

When the children of Israel escaped from Egypt, they found the dolphins of the Red Sea waiting for them, chirping their happy dolphin chirping sounds and splashing the blue waters of the Red Sea with their flat tails.

Suddenly, the people heard the terrible sounds of Pharaoh’s great army chasing them from Egypt– “We’re trapped!” They cried. But Moses raised his arm. And God zipped the Red Sea right down the middle!

The sight of the Red Sea split in half was amazing and confusing to the children of Israel. But can you imagine just how amazing and confusing this was for the fish of the Red Sea?

A Red Sea fish would be swimming along minding his or her own fish business when, suddenly, it would be swimming in midair–which is nowhere if you’re a fish.

The dolphins tried chirping a warning to the fish: “Don’t go there!” But the fish would ask, “What do you mean don’t go there? Where is the there?” And the dolphins would answer, “There in the air!” And then the fish would say, “Huh? We don’t see any air there.” And by the time the conversation was over because the fish were already there–in the air–which is nowhere if you are a fish.

And fish in the air was not the only problem the dolphins had to face. The children of Israel left Egypt with some flocks of sheep and goats and a few cows. And on their way across the Red Sea, some of those flocks walked right through the walls of water and right into the bottom of the Red Sea–which is nowhere if you’re a sheep or a goat or a cow!

So the dolphins would quickly swim down to the bottom of the Red Sea and shoo the sheep and goad the goats and carry the cows back into the air, which is somewhere if you’re a cow or a sheep or a goat.

As if fish in the air and sheep in the sea were not enough to handle, the dolphins saw that the army of the Pharaoh was gaining on the children of Israel.

The dolphins tried to slow down the Pharaoh’s army by flicking their tails through the walls of water and showering the wheels of the Pharaoh’s war chariots so they stuck in the mud.

When the walls of water came crashing together, the children of Israel were happy because they were free at last. The fish of the Red Sea were happy because there was no air anywhere near there. The sheep and the goats and the cows were happy because there was no Red Sea anywhere near there. But most of all the dolphins of the Red Sea were happy because they could go back to doing what they liked best–chirping their dolphin sounds and splashing the blue waters of the Red Sea with their flat tails.*